Let’s go to the beach, beach…let’s go get away…

No seriously, let’s go get far far away from reality and escape to the ocean. It has the healing powers of like 7 crystals.

I was fortunate to grow up about 20 minutes from the beach, but damn I miss it now living in Atlanta. This must be how people in landlocked States feel, oh the misery. I’m talking about you, people of Nebraska.

ANYWHO, if you can gather up your closest friends, relatives, drunk uncles and distant in-laws for a week soaking up the sun and the alcohol, then you got yourself a party! I wanted to put together a comprehensive list of alllll the things you MIGHT need for a perfect beach week. Equip with lots of booze, overpriced floaties and sunscreen for your pasty ass.

Here is my ultimate beach house vacation packing guide (with side notes)

Beach House & Kitchen

• Spices // ALWAYS bring salt, pepper, the usual…I cannot tell you how many places I’ve stayed that didn’t have this.
• Straws // Preferably reusable to save the environment, or umbrella ones
• Aluminum Foil
• Plastic storage bags (grocery bags & Ziploc)
• Plastic forks/knives/ spoons// preferably biodegradable
• Paper plates
• Paper towels
• Crockpot // What’s better than a slow roasting meal that you DON’T have to spend hours cooking after a long day at the beach!
• Crockpot liners
• Pitchers // for water alcohol
• Dish detergent/ sponge
• Garbage bags // like a whole roll
• Hand soap
• All-purpose cleaner
• Blender // again, for margaritas, daiquiris, all the alcohol or even morning smoothies
• Sugar/flour
• Toilet paper // the double rolls! A week at the beach with Aunt Carol’s cooking does nothing good for your butthole.
• Kleenex
• Laundry detergent
• Batteries // multiple sizes
• Flashlight
• Lighter/ matches
• Cooking spray
• Pillow(s)
• Sheet(s)/ blankets if not provided
• Air Mattress (if needed)

Beach

• Sunscreen
• Sunglasses // multiple pairs
• Bug spray
• Beach towel(s)
• Beach chair(s)
• Beach toys (boogie board, sand, surfboard)
• Umbrella
• Canopy/ tent
• Bottle opener // seriously don’t forget this
• Cooler/ snacks
• Bottled water/ drinks
• Tumbler(s) // trust me on this. Keeps your mimosa cold all day long!
• Koozies // another necessity
• Kites
• Sports equipment // all the balls
• Bathing suit/ bikini
• Cover up/ sarong
• Fun floats // the unicorn, the pretzel, and the poop emoji…bring them all
• Portable speaker // with charger dumbass
• Oversized beach bag
• Flip flops/ sandals
• Water shoes // if you’re a pussy
• Goggles/snorkel gear // buy this shit at Wal-mart, it will save you so much money–way better than renting.
• Sun hat/ baseball cap
• Aloe Vera

Medical

• First aid kit // because you know some shit is gonna go down
• Prescription medicine
• Vitamins // get that D girl
• Allergy medicine
• Pain reliever
• Sleeping medicine
• Motion sickness medicine
• Midol // if satan decides to show up in your vagina that week
• Tums
• Cough drops

Toiletries

• Lotion
• Brush/ comb
• Toothbrush/ paste
• Dental floss
• Mouthwash
• Feminine hygiene products
• Hair styling products // leave-in conditioner is a must at the beach!
• Dry Shampoo // this is a category in itself because dry shampoo = life
• Hair styling tools
• Hair accessories // don’t forget the hair ties ladies
• Lip balm
• Loofah
• Makeup/ brushes
• Makeup remover
• Moisturizer
• Nail clippers/ file
• Perfume/ cologne/ spray
• Razor(s)
• Shampoo & Conditioner
• Shaving cream
• Body wash/ gel
• Soap
• Tweezers
• Contacts/ solution/ glasses
• Baby powder // ever had your thunder thighs rub together so much that they looked like raw tuna? Yeah, that’s what this is for

 Food, Drinks & Alcohol

• Meals for breakfast/ lunch/ dinner
• Snacks // all the snacks
• Case(s) of water // for your thirsty ass
• Alcohol (wine, beer, liquor) // probably gonna need a few handles of each 😉
• Mixers // tonic, soda water, bitters, ginger ale etc.
• Shaker
• Lemons/ limes/ oranges/ olives or other garnish
• Soda/ sweet tea // yes I put sweet because you can’t go to the beach and drink regular tea. IT’S THE LAW.
• Ice // multiple bags for the coolers and for the beach
• Bottle opener/ wine opener // It’s never fun to have to watch drunk uncle Dan try to power drive a nail into the cork of a wine bottle because you’re a dumbass who left the opener at home.
• Drink packets // perfect for mixers, or refreshing your water
• Popsicles // since you always need something to suck on
• Coffee/ creamer

Entertainment & Technology

• Camera/ charger
• Laptop/ charger
• Ipad
• External charger // this item is critical for every trip!!
• Phone/ charger
• Drone / charger
• Frisbee
• Deck of cards // a must!
• Board games/ card games
• Corn hole // for anyone not raised in the south, it’s not what you think
• Fishing poles
• Books/ Kindle
• Headphones
• Golf clubs
• Go Pro/ mounts
• Tripod

 Clothing & Accessories

• swimsuits/ bikinis/ swim trunks
• socks/ sneakers
• underwear/ bras
• shorts
• tank tops
• casual/ t-shirts
• dresses/ dressier outfits
• sweater/cardigan/ pullover
• sleepwear
• pants/ jeans
• active wear
• tennis shoes
• belt
• jewelry

 Miscellaneous

• safety pins
• sewing kit
• Vaseline
• hand sanitizer
• citronella candles // perfect outdoor accessory that keeps the bugs away!
• Pump for floats
• Ping pong balls // obviously for beer pong

All of this is subject to what your beach house has! Make sure if you are renting– read the FULL description to see which items they provide and which ones they don’t. If you are unsure, never hesitate to contact the owner or person in charge of the house to get a clear idea of what they offer!

I hope your beach vacation yields more fun in the sun than it does family drama! Let me know if I missed any important items but until next time…

xo Bonvoyage Babes